Wandering through the Lakes, Part 4: Home-loss and a Home

This summer, so far, has been a story of feeling rather homeless. I am not out on the street, by any means, but I have had to say goodbye to a dear home-Taylor-and many of my friends-become-family from that home. For two months, now down to three weeks, I am at my family's home. And in three weeks, I will be setting out for my new home in Fresno, CA, where I have no "family" to lean on, and which definitely isn't home yet--nor will it feel like home until I've been there awhile, I'm guessing. All of this shifting transition makes me feel like a wanderer, a sojourner, a pilgrim, a stranger, an alien--a homeless person at heart.

I felt this homelessness some during the first part of my summer. But while I was at Green Lake, it all blew up again, like a summer storm that had been hovering on the horizon, waiting to make its move. And then it came--replete with all of a summer storm's thunder, lightning, funky-colored clouds, pounding rains, and drastic temperature changes. Up at Green Lake, I was with dear friends who have become as family. Green Lake is a home for all of them, and some of their families live there, so home-like impressions abounded during the week. And Green Lake has become a refuge for me, as well, over the years I've known these girls. To be with my "family", in a semi-home, was beautiful. But this pre-mourner was well aware that she would be saying goodbyes soon, which dredged up the sensations of home-loss I had been feeling. Over the course of the week at Green Lake, there were many summer-storm-tears and my dolphin-friend comforted me in the raging waters. Her words of peace reminded me of my true home.

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." -Psalm 90:1 [one of her favorites]

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his [velvety] wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." -Psalm 91:1-4

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." -Psalm 46:1-3

"Hear my cry O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. For you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name." -Psalm 61:1-5

And a miraculous twist:
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." -John 1:14

As if it weren't enough that God himself offers to be our home and family, our refuge and dwelling place. But he chooses to dwell in us--he has made his home in me:
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I hate feeling homeless, like all my sturdy foundations are being swept out from under me. But I know that with that comes the precious gift of finding God as my deeper home.